ILLUMINATI: HOW IT STARTED

 
ILLUMINATI: HOW IT STARTED



The Illuminati is a shadowy organization dedicated to the eradication of Christians and Christianity and the worship of Satan (who, it turns out, is a Space Alien).  Most people who have heard of the Illuminati know that Adam Weishaupt founded the Order of the Illuminati in 1776. But much of the history of this fine evil conspiracy organization has been misunderstood and garbled. At the New World Order, we are dedicated to continuing the traditions of our member organizations, and as such, offer the real behind-the-scenes of the Illuminati.

COMMON KNOWLEDGE:
As any good conspiracy theorist worth his salt can yell you, the Illuminati was organized in the 1760s by Adam Weishaupt. He formally formed the organization on May 1, 1776, which is the real reason communists celebrate May Day.   It is also widely known that the Illuminati was founded as part of the Freemasons but later branched off. The Illuminati, financed by the Jewish Bankers (mostly the Rothschilds), have started, organized, and financed every war in history since the French Revolution. The purpose of the Illuminati, of course, is to destroy Christianity and unite the entire planet under the rule of an evil tyranny (ruled by the wealthiest people on the planet) dedicated to the worship of Satan.

The Illuminati has worked in the background using several subsidiary organizations: the communists, the fascists, the Nazis, the Council on Foreign Relations, the British Institute of International Affairs, the Tri-Lateral Commission, the Democratic Party, and The New Kids on the Block. They also control most of the Federal Reserve system, which is why the Illuminati corporate logo appears on the American one dollar bill. In a stroke of genius, it was the Illuminati who came up with the idea of placing bar codes in dollar bills. That way, agents of the New World Order could tell how much money people had in their homes by merely driving by with an electronic scanner. Most recently, the Illuminati have been hard at work within the United Nations, 

 preparing for the takeover of the planet. 

THE LESSER KNOWN HISTORY:
The Illuminati was formed in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt, and it was formed by the Freemasons. In the late 1780s, however, the Illuminati was spun off in an attempt to lessen the debt burden of the Freemasons. The startup costs for this Satanic conspiracy were much higher than anticipated, leading to shareholder dissatisfaction. The Jewish Bankers bought half of the conspiracy’s stock, and by 1803 the conspiracy was a successful venture. The success of the French Revolution made the Illuminati the talk of the conspiracy industry, and it was in this atmosphere that several top executives of the Illuminati were able to leverage a surprise takeover, severing most ties with the Freemasons and relegating the Jewish Bankers to minority stockholder status. (Only the Rothschilds held any significant Illuminati stock.)

The Jewish Bankers regained control of the Illuminati in 1904 with a stock-for-cash deal valued at several billion dollars. The new parent conspiracy, known as “The World Order,”  stood as a giant in the evil conspiracy theory industry. Now virtually unchallenged, The World Order used the Illuminati to create smaller conspiracy franchises: the communists, the Nazis, and the Boy Scouts among them. The Illuminati actually took control of the conspiracy group that had founded it—the Freemasons —through manipulation of the stock market in 1929. Homosexuals joined the Illuminati in 1936.

All went well until the end of World War II (organized by The World Order as a way of devaluing its stock and throwing the resistance off the trail of the Jewish Bankers). Executives from the Black Hand Society and the Daughters of the American Revolution leveraged a takeover of the communists, and merged them into a single organization: the United Nations. (This fact comes as a surprise to many people, who realize that the U.N. was part of a communist plot; it is often overlooked that the Communists’ parent organization did not know of this plan, or that for many years afterward, the Illuminati and the U.N. were bitter rivals.)

At the same time, other rogue elements within the Illuminati—mostly disenchanted Freemasons—left the organization to form their own conspiracy group: “Majestic Seven.” Majestic Seven largely concerned itself with military and industrial conspiracies, and managed a friendly merger with the Military-Industrial Complex and the Cultural Elite. (As a result of this merger, “Majestic Seven” was renamed “Majestic Twelve.”)

Shortly after the formation of Majestic 12, the Illuminati learned that Majestic had contacted the Space Aliens. When Majestic 12 and the aliens formed an alliance, the Illuminati infiltrated its rivals and learned something that changed the immediate goals of the organization: the space aliens were led by none other than Satan, who the Illuminati had been formed to worship!

This new bit of knowledge spurred The World Order to begin a buildup so that it could launch a hostile bid for Majestic 12. Majestic and the Space Aliens caught wind of this plot, and informed the United Nations. Both the U.N. and the Majestic-Alien alliance were too weak to hold out against a beefed-up World Order, so in an act of desperation, the two conspiracy groups merged.

It was shortly after this merger that the United Nations and the Space Aliens discovered that Superman was really a fictitious character, and there were no superheroes to thwart their diabolical plans. With this new information, the U.N. proposed a merger with The World Order, and a new conspiracy group was formed: The New World Order.

The Illuminati has been a key player in the plans of the New World Order, controlling our political division. Nearly all “elected” officials are actually Illuminati appointees, with only a few holdouts like (Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich) resisting us. With Satanic leaders like Billy Graham and Kenneth Copeland in their arsenal, the Illuminati are poised to place the New World Order where we should be: in control of a communist, atheist, enslaved Earth!